My car is red. It accepts both oil and gasoline, but each into different receptacles. Its tires, like most of our recent presidents, should be changed at least once every four years. Other than which radio stations are pre-set to which buttons, this is everything I know about the mechanics of my Jeep.
And so, when the Lube Pro told me today that my oil cap was missing, I smiled and asked, “is the oil cap something that fits on top of the engine or underneath it?”
“On top,” he said.
“Does that mean that unless my car rolls over, the oil will stay where it’s supposed to be?”
“No,” he said and swiped my credit card.
**
Gary, the man at the auto parts store, was only slightly less helpful.
“I need an oil cap for my 2001 Jeep Wrangler.”
“Engine?” he asked.
“Yes,” I answered.
Gary sighed, unamused.
“How big?”
Such a personal question. I told him, but in a whisper.
Gary disappeared between the shelves and returned a few minutes later, carrying my new oil cap.
“I should probably know this already, but where exactly does this thing fit?”
Gary paused, judging me.
“On your valve cover.”
“Oh . . .”
Another pause.
“The valve cover? Where exactly is that?”
More silence.
“It’s right on top of your head.”
On top of my head? Really? It seems like I would have noticed it there somewhere between my last rinse and repeat.
Apparently the “head” has something to do with the "engine block,” which is essentially the same thing as the “engine,” only with the word “block” attached. Until today, I had no idea how much mechanics have in common with politicians, preachers, and physicians.
Since Gary was determined to show his knowledge without sharing it, I walked into the parking lot alone, lifted my hood, and looked for a hole that needed capping.
I found it, all by myself.
About Me
- Sometimes Roads Diverge
- New York, NY
- I am a thirty-something year old writer and speaker who still gets asked for his id before R rated movies. I'm told that one day I'll appreciate that I look younger than my age. For now, I'm tired of being called sweetheart.
I am easygoing. I enjoy music, movies, people, ideas, and entertainment that is and clever and creative. I like to laugh. A lot. I sometimes play too hard, but I also like being by myself - especially in the woods or watching a movie.
My friends are very important to me. Relationships keep me grounded and sane. I like good conversation. I need people in my life with whom I can be intimate and comfortable. And deep. And sometimes shallow, sarcastic, and inappropriate.
Sometimes I feel like I know myself well enough to fill a column like this with factoids about my life, loves, and interests. Sometimes I realize that I don't. Nobody really fits in a paragraph.
That’s why I write a blog . . .
1 comment:
Learn something new every day!
(Without that cap, the oil would splash out onto your hot engine every time you hit a bump, creating a nasty smoke and stink. Better to keep it inside the engine, where it has a very important job to do, greasing the pistons of progress.)
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